Robert Allen: A Lot Of It Aboot

Ah wes feelin’ bad this mornin’, Ah’m nowt ower grand ye noo,
Thore’s a throbbin’ at me temples, an’ a het flush on my broo;
Wi’ achin’ joins an’ catchy thowt, Ah hevvent onny doot
Ah musta ketch’d the bug they cerl, - “Ah Lot of it Aboot”.

The wife, she taks yin look at me, -“Ah know just what ye need,
Het bottle on your belly, an’ an aspirin for yor heid;
Just git yorsel inti yor bed, - an’ divvent ye git oot, -
Ah’m ganna cerl the doctor, thore’s a lot of it aboot!

The doctor diagnoses it a new type Asian ‘flu,-
Wes browt heor i; the baggage of an immigrant Hindu;
If Ah find oot whee giv us it, Ah’ll fetch him sic a cloot,
Thore’s little comfort knowin’ thore’s a lot of it aboot!

Aad Chearlie from next door comes roond; he seems me wattory eyes,
Me hacky cough an’ snotty nose, an’ stearts ti sympathise, -
“Me Antie doon at Hexham says wor Willie’s got a beaut,
Varnigh ti be expectit, - thore’s a lot of it aboot!”

Ah think the neighbour’s canny that sends a Git Well card,-
Ah owt ti love erl neighbours, but Ah find hor varry hard
Shaw’n charity tiwerds the yins hat just stand theor an’ spoot,-
They say he’s proper poorly, - thore’s a lot of it aboot!”

But, - When Ah’m, feelin bettor, an Ah’m up and oot yince mair
An’ heor hoo erl them neighbour folks is feelin’ kinda sair,
Ah’ll werlk reet in, erl heorty grin, an look at them an’ shoot,-
“Ah see ye’ve got what Ah hed, - thore’s a lot of it aboot!”

From “Canny Bit of Verse”, 1994. ISBN 0-9524649-0-X Published by the author.
Robert Allen's farming and historical poems have been sourced from the Northumberland Language Society. Please contact the NLS as a source (www.northumbriana.org.uk/langsoc/) of more of these brilliant works, and for recordings. The copyright is held by Nigel and Georgina Hall - for enquiries email them on nandg@mac.com.