Buzzwords in communication

By Dr Clive Dalton

Today's urgent need
In today’s world, getting a message across in a clear and concise way has never been so important, yet there seem to be a lot of people and organisations, who despite their good intentions, have developed a culture of making communication difficult.

Where did problems come from?
How this has grown, and where it came from is debatable, but the United States of America has got to be high on the guilty list. I well remember the moon mission when the man on the moon was told to put some rocks in a box. The box had about half a dozen descriptors!

The cult seems to based on the aim of ‘never using one word when more will do’, and the more ‘high fallutin’ you can make your words, the better you will sound – and that’s the read danger. It’s all about YOU the deliverer, and not about the receiver of the message.

This verbal creeping cancer seems to have started in the corporate and political world, and is where it keeps growing. It’s very infectious, spreading to many other areas including the media.

The sound byte
This is the age of the 'sound byte'. You cannot have a silence and space has to be filled with some sort of sound or picture filler. Failure to respond quickly because you are thinking will get you into immediate trouble, as either the listener will panic thinking something has gone wrong with the technology, or someone else will leap in to fill the space.

You have to learn to speak without thinking, and this is where buzzwords are useful.

The common use of ‘you know’ or ‘er’ are classical fillers to allow time for thinking, but they soon become irritants, unlike buzzwords which listeners take as valued information without knowing they are crap!

Here's what you do

Choose an opening
You need a beginning so start off a sentence like this:
‘Mr Chairman, My Lords. Ladies and Gentlemen, Honorable Members, Mr Minister, Members of the Board, Fellow Trustees, etc, etc - thank you most sincerely for the invitation to speak to you. I would like to say right at the start, or before I go any further-----‘.

Start buzzwording
Then you let go, taking a buzzword at random from each of the columns set out below, and keep doing this in rotation across the three columns.

Also go up and down the columns at random to select a word before diving into the second and third column. Build up a frenzy, and every now and then reach a crescendo ending up with a specially favourite word in column three!

With experience you'll be able to see ahead which word you'll need and keep special ones for the highlights of your speech.

Use linkages:
For links, when you need to add continuity, use such things as:

• Clearly - (when things are certainly not clear).
• There is no doubt - (when there is considerable doubt).
• At this point in time - (when "now" sounds too simple).
• The fact is - (when there is no such thing as a "fact" anywhere in sight).
• Any reasonable person would agree that -(when they would not).
• You know, as well as I do (when you know he/she does not).
• Notwithstanding - (when you know you have lost).
• Hitherto – (a useless filler for any occasion).
• Notwithstanding.
• Without doubt - when there is considerable doubt.
  

Basic buzzword list

Integrated	Management	Options
Total	Organizational	Flexibility
Systemized	Monitored	Capacity
Parallel	Reciprocal	Mobility
Functional	Digital	Programming
Responsible	Logical	Concept
Optical	Transitional	Time phase
Synchronised	Incremental	Projection
Compatable	Third-generation	Hardware
Balanced	Policy	Contingency
Ongoing	Modular	Interface
Synergy	Consumer-driven	Scenario
Utilised	Down-sized	Signal
Bottom –line	Dysfunctional	Deception
Pivotal	Dissemination	Niche
Market oriented	Differentiated	Down-side
Post	Structural	Time
Neo	Feminine	Perspective
New	Holistic	Body

Advanced buzzword list
If you find the above list restrictive in any way, here is another list which you may find more useful, especially for "planning" and "management" discussions.

Centrally	Motivated	Grass-roots	Involvement
Rationally	Positive	Sectoral	Incentive
Systematically	Structured	Institutional	Participation
Formally	Controlled	Urban	Attack
Totally	Integrated	Organisational	Process
Strategically	Balanced	Rural	Package
Dynamically	Functional	Growth-orientated	Dialogue
Democratically	Programmed	Development	Initiative
Situationally	Mobilised	Co-operative	Scheme
Moderately	Limited	On-going	Approach
Intensively	Phased	Technical	Project
Comprehensively	Deligated	Leaderhip	Action
Radically	Maximised	Agrarian	Collaboration
Optimally	Consistent	Planning	Objective

Grab new words
After a while you'll find that you can start to make up new buzz words, and that's a vital sign that you have all the qualities for very senior management.

Grab new jargon
Here are some fashionable jargon words in current use, but be careful as they age rapidly, and it's not good for your image to be using worn-out versions.

Great power comes from inventing new ones, and using them with the attitude that everyone should know what they mean. You never need to explain them as your listeners will be too scared to ask and so exposing their ignorance. So try these:

• As you all know - when you know they don't.
• Get up to speed with.
• Hook into.
• Identify a niche.
• Look for a window of opportunity.
• Examine the scenario.
• Take on board.
• Indicate where you're coming from.
• Signal intentions.
• Revisit issues.
• Run a few things past you.
• Touch base.
• Put a few things in place.
• Walk you through the main points.
• Flag a few things on the way through.
• Scene set.
• Share with you.
• Look at the trend line.
• Check the bottom line.
• Bring into sharper focus.
• Check where we are on the learning curve.
• Bracket some of the issues.
• To see if they can live with.
• See if you are comfortable with.
• Check the transparency.
• When things come on-stream.
• Examine the down-stream effects.
• Get a handle on.
• Study the whole raft of options.
• What I hear you saying - when your ears are closed.
• I hear what you are saying - when you violently disagree.
• Do some down-sizing and up-skilling.
• Going forward.
  

Fresh crop
Collected by Des Williams 
Community Relations/Media 
NZ Department of Conservation from a 2011 talk by Canadian Brian Freeman, an expert on "shared services.

• New learnings. 

• New architectures of government.
  
• 
Map the process. 

• Multi-channel access.
  
• 
Silo that piece of business. 

• Spin the terminal aspect.
• 
Fishboning. 

• Rapid return of benefit.
  
• 
You can't make the donuts and change the donuts at the same time.
  
• 
Use that square-footage for other things.
• 
Channel change is happening.
• 
Nail one of the tyres to the table.
• 
On the other side of the pond.
  

Body Language
Never forget how powerful and important this is to go with your buzzwords. It’s all about the way you stand, the way you lean, the way you take your spectacles on and off, the finger gestures, the ‘knowing’ look, the wry grin, and the very serious face when you are saying something outrageously funny, then the smirk when you deliver devastating news to show that you have things under control.

Turn your head to look to both sides of the hall as if you had a slightly stiff neck. If wearing a suit is appropriate, insert you hand in the side pockets with your thumbs outside pointing forwards. Don’t overdo this – a little now and then.

The lectern
Always try to have a lectern and use all the tricks of the trade here. Grasp it with both hands at regular intervals; thump it on occasions with the finger not the fist as you’ll blow the microphone. Lean back from it, then lean forward as you reach a mini crescendo!

If there is no lectern, use this opportunity to move around for impact (if you have a mobile microphone). Move slowly into the audience as you speak, walk with bearing. They’ll be terrified, especially if you build a few questions into your speech. They’ll think that they are your next target! (Watch Billy Connolly!)

Eyeball everybody in the room, don’t just stick to one poor sucker. Do this as you prowl, they’ll not dare look away from your constant search for the inattentive.

The microphone
Remember the microphone is a powerful weapon to sell your message. Use volume for impact but you can speak very quietly too for impact. Use it to drown out the heckler when you know your comments will cause unrest.

As a speaker, remember YOU have the power. Never waste a moment of it. Drive home the initiative, go for the jugular, administer the final “coup de grace”, do it with panache!

The clock
The biggest sin of all time is to over-run you allotted time. Few people can do this, and it gets worse with age. So get someone to give you a signal when to wind up – and wind up even if you have not finished. The audience wont’ know that, and they’ll be thrilled that it’s over!

A good chairman will warn you of the time, but many are too nice and let you run on. They should never be asked to chair a meeting again, as it causes all sorts of problems later in the day – especially for the cooks!

HM Royal Navy
But above all, never forget the basic philosophy of Her Majesty's Royal Navy during 1939-45. It was the secret weapon that Hitler never cracked. It was that:

"Bullshit Baffles Brains Me Lads!"